Defining Reality

     “See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight...stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren’t make the leap. Y'see...y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea...He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... he says 'What do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”

     Do I watch TV? Well, not much. If I do, it’s either cricket (barring Mandy Bedi’s expert comments) or the weekly roundup of the English Premier League. The rest of it (pardon my language) is highly insipid. And it wasn’t really bad about a couple of years back. There were a couple of shows, late in the night that dealt with mocking reality. But, not to the extent that the epidemic has grown. For intellectual authority, the appropriate version of Descartes's cogito would be today: I am talked about, therefore I am.

     For a year, I watched the audition of Roadies where moronic individuals indulged in staging their act in front of a couple of ruthless baldies. Somewhere down the line, the whole pantomime act came tumbling down like a pack of cards. During my stint in the US, I blatantly refused to switch on the tv. I couldn’t figure out American football (5 channels would broadcast 5 different games, 3 times a day), and the rest of the schedule included “I’ve got talent”, “you’ve got talent”, “we’ve got talent”, “maybe he or she’s got talent” blah.. blah.. blah.. (the dictionary in the word processor refuses to recognize blah.. well, blah! humbug).

     After I got back, it was pretty clear that Indian television had changed forever; in short gone to the four-legged domestic animals that are man’s best friends. Every channel had at least 5 reality shows and my native channels weren’t any better. The early part of the last decade had soaps ruling the roost on the mini-screen. It was replaced by a more venomous enterprise that consisted of every 5 year old singing on stage. There’s nothing wrong with the concept if it had something to do with equal opportunity. To desiccate such young talent, and manipulate the whole act in order to raise TRPs is something I’ve found hard to digest. It’s true that Danny Boyle’s Slum Dog Millionaire raised the bar of expectations in a nation that burst out in tears with Ekta Kapoor’s K-series sagas. But to include disabled people in these shows was the height of mockery. Yes, these people do have talent. But for heaven’s sake, showcase their talent; not their deficiencies.

     The image (on your left) should say it all. If it doesn’t convey the whole message, please go ahead and watch Peepli Live. Indian media, especially news channels are below par compared to the rest of the world. Primarily our focus is on what Deepika had for dinner and when Salman chooses to jog. Some others (I didn’t say SRK) have made it a point to get on the news board every day. If we manage to get past that, then it’s about Dhoni’s latest addition to his superbikes or Sania’s (sorry, that one is out of fashion; oversized and married) Saina’s new pink dress. The only impetuses that news channels have provided are sting operations (where those tiny cameras are used and surprisingly people seem to ensure that they’re looking good while speaking in front of it). I’m no longer interested in quiz shows on tv because I’m used to watching Derek O’Brien and Siddharta Basu presenting brain-racking episodes, and I can’t imagine replacing them with some of our celebrities who have to involve a song-and-dance sequence in every episode.

     As of now, there’s no technology that allows the television automatically to switch on, and flip to one of these channels; barring my roommate.

     “I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one marked "brightness" but it doesn’t work, does it?” - Leo Anthony Gallagher.