Unique Identification D

-
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain.

     One of the other reasons why I’ve refrained from blogging is because every topic is clichéd. I’m active on twitter and give vent to my fury on a daily basis (please note: this has nothing to do with my joblessness). Apart from the spitting, splitting and spatting (verb introduced after the Kalmadi-Dishit duel), we’ve had the jokes about Chuck Norris and Rajnikanth (surprising that MS word doesn’t take Rajnikanth, there’s a joke right there), how well we’ve conducted the CWG; used a 40cr hot air balloon to depress the taxpayer’s money, and then cover the depression in the stadium with 80 truckloads of sand. Anyways, I’ve decided that we quickly need the UIDs in place. And it’s not because Junior AB implemented a strategy to avoid racism (remember the racism ad from Idea). Mr. Nilekani decided that Infosys would get hold of a large project (they’re used to tagging goods in Walmart stores using POS apps; time to tag humans).

     Something really funny happened earlier this week. A friend of mine and a client contact share the same name (like Nikolai Gogol). Let’s name the first one as ID4256 and the second one as ID7935. I had to fix up a meeting with 7935 for 2 PM. But since my phone generally displays names and “haste makes waste”, I reached at the scheduled time and called 4256. 4256 was bewildered as much as I was when she walked up to the reception and didn’t see me. I was at 7935’s location out to meet 7935, right? So then I called 7935 and she was shocked. Because in the morning I had actually spoken to 4256. It was a total embarrassment because my manager happened to come along with me. Would the Unique IDs solve the problem of my stupidity? If it does, what an idea sirji!


P.S: It's strange how we've moved from Instant coffee and 2-min noodles to Google Instant. In the future we might end up with Instant babies as well...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Time and Tide – Sorry, I’m late

-
Image
     “Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.” - Evelyn Waugh.      Someone once remarked that IST was originally an acronym for Indian Stretchable Time. Are we Indians so bad when it comes to respecting (more likely disrespecting) the value of time? Read on to unveil the greatest myth of the new era.      The discovery of time was the biggest mistake. Why do we need a device to measure (and magnify) our slowness? A large sect of today’s population has the notion that if you're there before it's over, you're well on time. And it’s true to a large extent. The reason being that no one important is ever present to appreciate your punctuality. As a kid, my teachers emphasized on the virtues of character, punctuality, discipline and etiquettes. Strangely enough, I’ve reported to half a dozen people in my corporate life. And only one of them stressed on punctuality (do I have to provide an explanation for the rest of them?).      My dad is very strict when it comes to punctual
Read more

Romancing the language

-
Image
" I know such English that I will leave the British behind. You see sir, I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English, I can run English, because English is such a funny language. Bhairo becomes Byron because their minds are very narrow. In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the Melbourne stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare Sir , this is a very prestigious match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration must end in a run. In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the Wankhede stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that this is an important match we must put this consideration in
Read more

An open book

-
Image
     1998. 9th standard. Life wasn't all about History, Chemistry and Maths then. Computers were in the stage of evolution, and cellphones were like UFOs. Someone claimed to have seen them, but no one could swear to it that it existed. Our entertainment were restricted to board games, Monopoly and Scrabble ruled the roost then, kids nowadays call these apps on their funky i-phones. But within the walls of our classroom, a game existed. A game that had caught the imagination of the Indian youth. Cricket was still a religion, and Sachin our God.       The first hour would go on perfectly fine. We would remain fresh and active during the class. The second hour would generally resort to slight murmur of disapproval. In the third hour, it would start. A slight ruffle in the last bench. Rajeev and Unni sat there. I would turn back from the penultimate row and check out. The pitch report had started, it would be the English text book. Good seaming conditions, slightly overcast. The
Read more