Travelling Times: 2009 - 2010

     "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

Summer '09: Life was in turmoil. The bell of desperation seemed to ring continously. I had to find a way out of the warm and cozy environment in Aditi. It seemed to be so good that at times it would strangle me. Everything went along well except for the prospects of a bright future. Hobson's choice was simple. Stay and enjoy life. Or move ahead, struggle and grow. A twenty four year old hardly has any baggage in life. Pack up and leave. I had made mistakes before. And some of those mistakes had pushed me far ahead than the right decisions. My dad always told me that every opportunity was worth a try.

     I didn't predict one thing though. The weather in Bangalore had softened me and so landing in Delhi, in the middle of summer, was terrible. The three "F's" (no, not the modern ones) - Fright, Fight or Flight kept popping in my head. I wasn't frightened, so the choice was between taking a flight home and staying on. I didn't want to quit too soon. The Ego in me sang to me, louder  than before (A well-wisher had informed me before hand that Delhi might not be the best place for me. I had turned him down and desperately wanted to prove him wrong). Our battles for pride often leave us wounded, and that was my first lesson in the last one year.

     Aditi had pampered me with affection, to the extent that I could have my way with things. "Know your weaknesses, Demonstrate your strength." I had learnt that mantra before. A temper on a short fuse has always been a bane. I had to refrain from blowing off my top. It did help that I interacted with a limited set of people. My efforts were to hone my skills as a professional, making friends were secondary. I spent a larger part of my time reading and re-discovering myself. Somewhere along the busy life that I had lead, my creative side had taken a step back.

     Delhi provided me a new lease of life, a whiff of fresh air. I didn't travel much, the weekends were spent at the multiplexes or in the midst of my books. The weather got worse and every day was a nightmare. More than once, the temptation to leave hovered in my mind. Every single time I was distracted and the thought passed on. Something seemed to hold me back, and it paid off well later on.

     Whenever life is at its darkest, there's always a light that shines for us. I had always dreamt of going to the US and when the opportunity beckoned, I was awestruck. I had thought too soon. Fate was in the mood, tossing me harder at the wall. The summer was replaced by a bitter winter in WA. It rained incessantly and the chilling cold was harsh. There were bigger challenges on the career front. I lost the battles, but I won the war. A part of my decision seemed to pay off. When I got back, my only thought was to learn as much as I could. It wasn't about the hurdles anymore. Every hurdle seemed to be a new gateway of opportunity.

     Today, I stand on the edge of another goodbye. Another sun sets, and a new dawn (SRK's Don-2) will rise. In the last year, times have changed. The English cricket team finally won something. M F Hussein was exiled. No one takes responsibility of terrorist attacks. Australia has a woman PM,  Michael Jackson was murdered passed away, we pay more taxes, and Tiger Woods has gone further than the 18-hole courses. Even Federer gets beaten by amateurs. Times have changed. The spoilt brat in me seems to be a distant reflection. Life will never be the same again. I'll never be the same.

P.S:

       "Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that."